We all got to the church on time, (due to Nona’s aggressive habit of driving), the sunflower yellow dress fit, but I still hated it as much as when I first had to try it on. I almost puked right then and there. But-I had to wear it, and look like a bottle of mustard from my cousin’s deli. Thankfully, I wasn’t alone and got to share my misery with my three sisters and couple of the bride’s friends. Fortunately, they all looked as bad as I did. Misery loves company and I was adoring it.
Back to being on time, which was a miracle, Nona drives like a crazy woman. People just automatically get out of the way.
We walked down the aisle, the bride followed, and admittedly she looked fantastic. Mario was happy, as my other brother, Gino looked like some one stuck a knife in him and twisted it, twice. The bride got to the alter without incident, (another miracle), and was given away by her proud papa. Then as the service moved ahead, and my feet tucked away in equally yellow shoes, felt like I was standing on nails as Gino started to look a bit yellow around the gills. I thought it was all the yellow dresses, flowers and bows. A confirmed bachelor, Gino hates weddings. The only reason he was at this one, was because it was family, and he couldn’t get out of it. He usually just breaks out into a big red rash whenever he has to be a part of or attend a wedding, which in this family is numerous and often. He should buy stock in a hydrocortisone company. Gino actually started to sway. He was going down like a tree in the forest with no sound. Mario turned to catch him, and hit the candle stand, which propelled a lit candle towards his adoring and horrified bride. The candle hit her veil, and it instantly ignited. The church was full of cops and firemen, which of course saved the day. As I went towards her, I was mowed down by the group, who tossed the bride on the floor, rolling her.
With hysterical howls, the bride rolled back and forth, leaving a trail of beads, flower pedals, buttons, hair pins and a CL blue shoe. That were oh so cute. In the middle of this my sister Jeanine had run forward, to help, and was knocked out of the way, tumbled down the alter steps, and landed in the aisle, with her dress hiked above her hips, exposing her very tiny G-string to all including a very embarrassed close to fainting Priest.
Nona ran to the alter screaming in Italian, “Oh, il mio Dio, la risparmierò!” She grabbed a vase filled with flowers, and continued her descent on the bride, stopped, in her smart little black shoes, and dumped the entire contents of the vase on the bride, cops and firemen, all in their class-A’s. She nearly drowned the bride.
Well-the reception was still ago, as Mario tried to get his bride to show up. The priest married them privately. So the reception went on without her, and Mario. We had a great time, the band was good, the food great, as my mother kept disappearing to try to talk the bride into making a appearance. Apparently, her mother stayed with her as she kicked and screamed, my mother relaid.
But that’s not where it ended, I was going through double doors to go outside, and the doors swung shut, caught the big ugly bow on my ass, and tore it right off the dress. Not only tore it, but ripped the back off my dress. I was borrowing jackets for the rest of the evening, until I could get Nona to stop dancing the chicken dance and go home.
Oh, but I digress, What I did for love, wasn’t the first book I’ve read by SEP. I usually really love her books and laugh out loud, but not this time. Georgie York is a outdated famous child star, that is desperate to regain some fame and respect. So what does she do but marry her former co-star (who she lost her virginity too, years ago and hates), the marriage was actually worse than Mario’s. They were drunk and under the influence of a controlled substance, so they had no memory of the actual act of saying I do. Both the hero and heroine seem a little desperate. The hero Bram wants to regain a career gone south, and Georgie desperately wants the approval of the public. There was some sweet moments. Bram did redeem himself and there were times Georgie actually seemed intelligent, but nothing that made me laugh out loud.
The story did draw me into the world of Hollywood, paparazzi and the what the famous have to really deal with as they're followed around. The descriptions of southern California made me feel like I was there, even though I’ve never been there.
It does end well, and story kept me reading, but just wasn’t funny. I look forward to SEP’s next book, maybe I can laugh again.
This a #7 a good subway read. I read it on the way to work on the Monday following the wedding.
No comments:
Post a Comment