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Monday, August 15, 2011

Take some lessons Snookie

     As a Jersey girl and Italian, I have a real dislike for Snookie and the gang from Jersey Shores. The reason, they make Italian American’s look shallow, stupid, partying drunks, and overly tanned. As much as the term Guido is not liked among most Italians, it does fit here. The girls are even called Guidettes. Sorry, it fits.
      My biggest complaint besides their habit of behaving very badly in front of cameras, the public and most recently in Florence, is their fashion sense, or lack of. Yes, they have set the stage for such shows as Jerseylicious, and Jersey Housewives, which don’t help the image much either, with the big hair, the weird costumes, and ridiculous spending habits. At least among the housewives, it’s rumored a couple of them are broke, because of over spending on all the glitz. Come’on, they get paid big bucks for the show. How can you go broke!? I guess when you have a party for a baby with a live person representing Marie Antoinette serving up food, while in the middle of table, with her dress as the table cloth, it can happen. 
     I don’t know any self-respecting Italian who would think of wearing anything any of these women do from any of the shows. If you’re seen walking down the street like that, someone would probably try to direct you back over the bridge to south Bronx. I’m sure not just a few cars would pull over and offer $20 bucks for a blow job.
      Recently, I was at the movies with my niece and nephew. It’s hot outside, so I’m in shorts, flip flops, and a tank. With the humidity, my hair is in pinned up mess on my head, and light make-up. Okay, I won’t go out without it. We’re in line for popcorn and in front of me is two women, taking their kids to see the same show, in stilettos, short skirts, nearly showing off ones ass, and huge hair. Ya think they are fans of one or all the shows? One is wearing of all things a bustier, with her cleavage popping out of the top. Her earrings go down to her navel, and so much make-up, I’m sure I could scarp it off with a spatula. Damn that's tough on the pores The other is in a tank top, ten sizes too small, with her mid-section showing. Now remember they’re going to a kiddy show, not a club, and they’re not that young. Everyone is just staring at them, looking around for cameras, because this can’t be real. No cameras, only the influence of Olivia and Tracy from Jerseylicious, with Snookie in the background.  Damn, putting soooooo much effort into going to the show, is way too much work for a hot afternoon spent with kids in the dark. I mean whose going to care? Oh, maybe all the dads, who were ogling their behinds, and the moms giving them a good whack to keep their eyes to themselves. Come’on!  It’s a kiddy show…It was the Smurfs for crying out loud!
      Recently, I saw the cover of W magazine with Kristin Stewart on the cover in a retro-60ish style. Ya know she looked fab..She had the make-up with the big hair, but it was done so well, I hope that Snookie and her gal pals, call up the Jerserylicious girls, who tell the housewives about it, and might try to tone it down a bit, and let the tanning spray fad. I know I’m thinking, maybe the next time I go out to a club, I might give it a try. Sophia Loren, here I come, I’ll do that.

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